Comfort in Loss

Grief and loss touches the life of nearly every person, whether it is a death of a loved one, a fire that destroys a home, the devastating effects of cancer, or a shattered and broken relationship. In the hours, weeks and years that follow a deep loss, friends and family sometimes struggle with how to support those who are most deeply affected, as well as how to grieve themselves. It may seem strange that the Helmsmen would focus our writings on grief and loss, but today several members of the Helmsmen will gather to honor and remember the life, love and faith of a Sister in Christ. A wife and homeschooling mother of three, the oldest of whom is a Stoa competitor, she taught us so much about courage and faith as she faced cancer. We have chosen to honor Shellie Pence today, with Bible verses, Psalms, and words of wisdom from some of our favorite authors and mentors.


For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him.

He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. 

-- Psalm 62: 5-8


Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.

For our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His holy name.

Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in You.

-- Psalm 33: 20 – 22


Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in Me will never die.

-- John 11:25 - 26


“I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.” 

-- C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed


Every person experiences grief differently. Please remember that there is no "right" timetable or correct way for the family to respond to a loved one’s passing.

-- Konrad Hack


(Excerpt from a prayer for the family of loved ones who have died.) O God, make the risen, living, reigning Jesus real to them. And as they taste what we could wish no child would have to taste, grant them to know and feel that in the arms of Jesus all are well, for he did not promise, “I will be with you to the end of your life,” but “to the end of the age.” In death and life.

-- John Piper


“The only love that won’t disappoint you is one that can’t change, that can’t be lost, that is not based on the ups and downs of life or of how well you live. It is something that not even death can take away from you. God’s love is the only thing like that.”

-- Tim Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering



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